The new year has barely started and I'm already EXHAUSTED. Mostly from the partying this past week or so, but also from thinking about what I'm going to have to accomplish this coming year...
Graduating college... and showing some thing from it. Not so sure I will actually graduate with something to be proud of, but I will have to merely settle for having to be proud of actually graduating. In time, nonetheless. No super-senior semesters for me. I guess that is something to be proud of.
But I have nothing to put in a portfolio and shop around with. Of course, I can totally settle down with the job I have now. I will probably be very content for quite some time. I'm just afraid I'll eventually break down to the nagging muffled voice at the back of my head that if I settle for mediocre, I would be a failure to people's expectations. Not quite sure if I can keep pretending that my opinion of myself is what matters most. Especially since that opinion isn't quite positive in the first place.
Ah well. Life does go on. I need to start training myself to relinquish emotional attachment to material things. I'm pretty sure I'll move somewhere far from here one of these days-- having a lot of crap is not going to be a pretty situation at all. It's a scary though, really.
Who knows though. I might just root it up here where I am now and just be a drone till I die in my sleep.
I really need some inspiration and motivation to pick my spirit up a little bit.