T A H I M I K: life and creative stuff

Monday, March 26, 2007

Graduating day gets closer and closer. I don't really know how to feel about it at this point. I'm not excited anymore, but I am certainly not dreading it. I just think I don't want to see what's waiting after all these school things XD; AUGH! REAL LYFE!

I've made some arts!

I hope I'll keep drawing even when I get bogged down with working and all that stuff. I haven't even updated my online comic for so long... T_T Although, Defectivegeeks.com has been revived. It's not as fabulous as I originally wanted it to be, but no one has the time-- well, I don't have the time or the energy. XD;

Sunday, March 11, 2007

I'm feeling slightly miffed today, because I realized that I've turned into the person that everyone else can call up and ask to do things with, and I'll say yes for the most part because I want to do things with my friends. Then when I want to do something and want/need company, no one ever seems to be available to do what I want. Which is dumb to think about, especially since people do have good reasons to not go and do things with me. I understand completely that everyone is busy/don't want to spend money/etc.-- but after a good while, it gets a little annoying XP I need to stop saying yes to people. I could have saved so much money, or could have done what I wanted to in the first place.

I love being with my friends, and I do have fun every time I go out with them... but I rather get used to doing things on my own-- when it usually comes down to that in the end. So, no more going out for me for good while. I'm more at ease by myself, and I can have more time to draw and things like that.

I had this sudden middle schooler mentality of wishing I had that ONE friend I can always call up and hang out with. Though I gave up that notion a long time ago when I realized my taste on things to do will never match up with anyone else. XD WHY AM I WEIRD?! I'M A LONER T_T

It's just harder to do things alone in L.A. and such... first off all, it's not really safe ~_~ Second off, I think people DO notice when you're out by yourself. I think that's why I miss Tokyo a lot. I could do things by myself and I wouldn't stand out or feel unsafe.

Friday, January 19, 2007

There's so much I can bitch and complain about right now, but for once, I'm not really in the mood. Although, I can say that I'm sort of broke right now. Cry. I want to buy books and comic books.

Anyways, last night I was out with some people I went to Japan with. We ate tonkatsu and walked around Sawtelle Ave-- which is the "new Little Tokyo" of L.A., so to speak. It was fun. The guys seem to be deprived of good Japanese grocery stores and spent a lot of time exploring the little supa in the area, squealing at all the food we used to see in Japan.

I really want to go to Las Vegas with Missy, but now I don't think I'll have the money, really, or the time... I need to kick back before my trip to Washington D.C. and I've never been a big fan of Las Vegas anyways. Of course, the only time I was there was when I was younger and couldn't really do anything but play at the arcades. I would go again some time, but not now. I don't feel like partying much. It tires me out, even though I always have fun when I go out and do things that are not typical of me.

Plus, school beckons my attention. When I graduate, I'll let loose-- but right now, it's too hard to play when school and work are eating a big chunk of my time.

Even though I don't believe in wasting too much time on cosplay and ridiculous things like that, I do want to have some time to work on costumes still. I should start thinking about what costumes I want to wear for AX. I have one or two costume for sure right now, but there's still three more days of the con I don't have plans for! XD Haha!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

I feel bad for my mom-- she had such a bad morning. It was ridiculous. Nothing horrible happened, but the situation is quite annoying and will have to wait to be resolved. All I gotta say is that owning cars is the biggest pain in the ASS in the world. It's not a very good start of 2007 around me, as I kind of hinted in my last post here. I just pray it'll get better.

Art wise, there hasn't been much progress, that's for sure. Still lacking inspiration and motivation. Although I did pull out some pictures I took from Japan and uploaded them on my DA, here. I fancy myself a photographer some times. :P

Next week, school starts for me-- and I'm not looking forward to it at all. I hope between now and then, I'll find the motivation to make something out of my last semester there. I'm going to be taking a class with a teacher I liked before and I'm hoping she still has the same faith in me as she did when I was a Sophomore. I've learned that cool teachers can change a lot from one year to the next, and they're not so cool or helpful anymore. I guess I'm fairly apprehensive about everything.

I've been waiting to graduate, but now I'm also becoming quite apprehensive of that. I'm pretty tired of life already and I barely started mine at all.

What a waste, right? I don't know what else to do though.
Life has been so uninspiring.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

The other day, I burnt my elbow... it's all puzzy and the skin keeps peeling off.

Today, I cut myself with an exacto knife.

Already, I'm annoyed with the whole world and greatly disliking my life.

I'm starting this new year off sooooooo well....

Monday, January 01, 2007

The new year has barely started and I'm already EXHAUSTED. Mostly from the partying this past week or so, but also from thinking about what I'm going to have to accomplish this coming year...

Graduating college... and showing some thing from it. Not so sure I will actually graduate with something to be proud of, but I will have to merely settle for having to be proud of actually graduating. In time, nonetheless. No super-senior semesters for me. I guess that is something to be proud of.

But I have nothing to put in a portfolio and shop around with. Of course, I can totally settle down with the job I have now. I will probably be very content for quite some time. I'm just afraid I'll eventually break down to the nagging muffled voice at the back of my head that if I settle for mediocre, I would be a failure to people's expectations. Not quite sure if I can keep pretending that my opinion of myself is what matters most. Especially since that opinion isn't quite positive in the first place.

Ah well. Life does go on. I need to start training myself to relinquish emotional attachment to material things. I'm pretty sure I'll move somewhere far from here one of these days-- having a lot of crap is not going to be a pretty situation at all. It's a scary though, really.

Who knows though. I might just root it up here where I am now and just be a drone till I die in my sleep.

I really need some inspiration and motivation to pick my spirit up a little bit.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Sometimes, I miss when my NANA community had less than 20 members and most of them were the Italian fans. I miss those days whenever I see the idiots posting X_X I mean, for the most part, the fandom has been pretty cool... but still. I hate big fandoms and I hate it when the idiots find their way in! But I guess it can't be a fandom unless there's idiots running around. Oh my poor NANA... I used to wish there were more people familiar with the series... now I take that back!!!

Vacation time has been taken over by work and getting holiday stuff done. Still have a whole bunch of things to send to people. Still have a few things to make to send to people.

Been eating a lot of baked goods that keeps showing up in the office. Not good! Just when I'm loosing a little bit of weight. Last night, I tried on a Chinese-style dressed I've had for awhile and I never wear because A) it's kinda tacky looking and not my style at all and B) it used to be tight on me. Now it's loose on me... which made me HAPPY! All my pants have been a little loose on me. Though I think the holidays may change that once I start stuffing my face with Filipino food and everything else. Not to mention, we're planning another Todai (a Japanese buffet) trip for my friend's boyfriend's birthday.

I gotta get back to my "excercise"-- which pretty much consists of me dancing around my room for a half an hour a day. XD